


before my lifelight goes out

by WorldCup



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (and yet he's my fave. Figures), Also I hadn't posted anything in years I think, And like, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Armitage Hux is Not Nice, Because he's evil >:((((, Besides maybe a crackfic, But he doesn't deserve one >:(, I guess I can tag it under, I wanted to have his thoughts of hux and Finn I guess??, I wrote it in one sitting today instead of working on some actual fic, Implied/Referenced Torture, It's my first sw fic so ;-;, M/M, Missing Scene, POV Poe Dameron, and also, hope you enjoy?, idek, it was supposed to be a Tumblr post about Poe's naivety when it comes to hope, ooof., the heck all my tags are gone, this is not crack though so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24003664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WorldCup/pseuds/WorldCup
Summary: And people, Poe had known, were all capable of love.And Poe had known that, until he met Hux.~A missing scene I had in mind, before Ren tortures Poe, before Poe is tortured in general, Hux speaks with Poe. He probably thinks Poe is gonna die anyway, so he talks. And Poe truly, truly hates him.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Armitage Hux, Poe Dameron & Finn, Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	before my lifelight goes out

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from a German song by my favorite German band, Die Ärzte, it's called "Onprangering" and it's not a very nice song so if you're icky about some graphics and like, d*cks don't look it up I guess lol.  
> Okay so as the tags said, it's been written in one sitting, and was not supposed to turn this long. I didn't edit it much, or gave it over to a beta to read because it truly felt a bit like a rambly post at first (also timezones oooooops)  
> Anyway, the central part is a scene before Ren tortured Poe, where he and Hux talk.  
> (Now I have watched the film eons ago and haven't seen it since so some timeline might be fucked up here)  
> Sorry about it ;-;

Poe knows cruelty only of the first order and the empire. Know cruelty only of the dark dressed, high ranked officers and the shadow troopers, of the stark white dressed, faceless storm troopers, who barely look like people with the uniform armour and the helmets that only seem to reduce the wearer's field of view — in the less sapient part of one's brain, one would see them as a weak, easy to rid of kind of creature; noticably weak, slow, a blind fledgling missing a leg, a fawn left alone by its mother like a sacrifice to the predators.

The cleverer and the more discerning part of one's brain would see them not just as weak but eerily, uncannily so.

And a mind sharpened and cleaned till pristine by the Rebellion and the New Republic as Poe's used to be, had seen them as a nothing but a threat, and not a small one at that.

Until he met Finn.

Until he met Finn, Poe didn't know stormtroopers had no name.

Until he met Finn, Poe didn't know they went by serial letters and numbers, with no identity otherwise.

Until he met Finn, Poe didn't know stormtroopers rarely chose to be such.

Until he met Finn, he didn't know most stormtroopers hadn't had parents to take care of them.

Until he met Finn, Poe didn't know stormtroopers were brainwashed, told the First Order is the only thing that can bring the galaxy peace, and that for this to happen, war must first wage.

Until he met Finn, Poe didn't know there were people—actual, honest-to-stars, unprogrammed people—under the pristine white armour and the impairing helmet.

And people, Poe had known, were all capable of love.

And Poe had known that, until he met Hux.

Because when he met Hux, he met with a man whose reputation and whose (at least in Poe's eyes) dignity and humanness were marred, unrestorably, incorrigibly so. 

Stealing children, brainwashing them to fight for a corrupt, hateful force as the First Order, creating machines that could destroy whole systems; the man had blood, and is gonna have more blood, on his hands, which he seemed to give no mind to. This man smelled of cleanliness, but Poe could tell he had no plans of lathering the blood of those who died under his command or by his commanded.

Because when he met Hux, the general had made sure to put Poe in so much pain, unimaginable to him beforehand.

(although Ren's probes—stabbings, more than anything—into his mind were worse than the physical torture).

But before Hux or Ren tortured him, Hux only sees him, and he speaks.

He tells Poe, curtly, how he has no chance, how painful Ren's gonna make it. There was a well hidden, but still there, a silver of not concern, but something close to almost sympathy. An almost invisible shudder, which made Poe wonder what does the general know, and how much. It also made him question Hux's position and power.

Poe spits at hux as the latter leaves the room. _Are all lives so meaningless to you_ , _or do you get a promotion out of it?_ he bites, disgusted, Even your own? Doesn't make it out of his lips. Hux turns to him with a look in his eyes of a man who had seen too much.

_What had this man seen? What had he seen, that made him so remorseless, his eyes hateful, and the hate in them zealous?_

“Life's only meaning is survival, Dameron,” his lips curl in a bitter sneer. “Life is a test of one's survival skills, and the New Republic had failed. Just as my father did, just like you and your little Resistance are doing now”. 

_Just like his dad?_ “Did you kill your dad, too? Had your parents never showed you love?” Poe tries to bite again, sarcastic. Because how would parents not show love? All parents love their kids. Even Han did and Leia still does. After everything.

_Don't they?_

Hux's bitter, resentful sneer gives place to an even more bitter smirk. “Yes,” he starts, “and no.” and there's a not so hidden pride in the first word. Hux confirmed he killed his dad, with no signs of regret, no signs of sadness, but rather, his eyes seemed to almost _spark_ . Poe cannot contain his hate. He's the same kind of Ren, killing his own father, but worse. Ren seemed hesitant; Hux, on the other hand? He seemed to have _enjoyed_ that.

Hux then goes on, shaking Poe back into reality. “The galaxy is big, Dameron, and vast,” he tells Poe as if Poe hadn't flown his x-wing and the _Falcon_ across some of its extent, and more than once, as if Poe doesn't know how huge galaxies. “some pairs of weakly, caring–” he says both words as if they're the same, as if loving is a weakness. “— _parents_ on Yavin Four is not a representation of all others,” he says parents as if it's another curse, the same way he'd called Poe _Rebel Scum_ , and Poe wants to roll his eyes. “you want to tell me you know different places in the galaxy better than _I_ do, when _you_ are the one to never leave the board of the ship?” Hux comes a bit closer, and his height once again makes Poe feel smaller, weaker.

“To prove a statement is right, you need to prove it's never wrong, endless instances. To prove a claim is not right, you need only one instance where it doesn't apply”. Poe just rolls his eyes again, “yeah, we all had studied basic quantitative studies” he tells the man, only regretting he hadn't gone with a wink instead, as it might have gauded at least _some_ sort of reaction from Hux.

So he tries again.

“What's your proof? Your soldiers? You stole them! Ren? Leia still loves him. Others? Probably don't have parents at all because of scums like you!” Poe sneers and spits again at the last word, as he couldn't keep himself poised as he went on. His own _words_ angered him, Hux angered him. He's void of compassion, of humanness. 

Poe is looking right into Hux's eyes, and they are remorseless. Remorseless, cruel, and so, so cold.

“No,” Hux says, and Poe shakes himself internally, stopping himself from staring at these eyes for longer.

“Then who?” Poe starts to feel as if he knows the answer.

“Me”.

And it downs on Poe that maybe, just maybe, Hux's had had his Reasons for Starkiller Base, for the brainwashing, for the ruthlessness of his methods. He called it survival, and maybe that's what it was. For him.

~

Poe is rescued, not before Ren had tortured his mind, made him feel as if his whole body and his soul are bleeding.

~

Hux was a serial killer, only the serial murders he had committed all happened at once, with one word, beams of dark energy destroyed worlds. Not just one world, like the Death Star 30 years before. Hosnian Prime on its moons and on the system's people, destroyed, turned to dust.

And Poe, Poe despised him, resented him, wanted to kill him with every glimpse of the general on holos, with every new piece of intel he'd passed them.

(Poe could tell it was him, no one else, he'd known, had as much access as general Hux to such information, besides Ren).

The First Order was cruel, and Hux was one of its bests, if not the best of them all. 

He could not control the force, but he could control his emotions, could watch his father die—kill him himself and watch as the life leave his body—without blinking, could inflict pain like no one else in the First Order (Ren being an exception, but again, only thanks to the Force), could destroy a star on its moons, population of billions, with no sense of remorse or contrition. 

And not only that, Poe discovers.

He discovers that most of the blueprints, of the ideas, were Hux's.

This man was more of a monster than the Emperor Palpatine.

After this discovery, Poe could not help but be relieved that Hux didn't want them to take him with them and save him from being caught.

Instead of tiny shred of guilt at the loss of important Intel, of a life (a life of a killer, but a life nonetheless), he felt only relief. The Resistance, the New Republic, and The whole damn _galaxy_ had no need in such threat.

So when, not even one year after everything, before both the New Republic and the Resistance had time to fully recover (not that it was possible, especially for the Republic), confusing rumours about a crusade within the unknown regions, became more and more frequent and known, Poe, Rose, and Finn grew worried.

With Rey searching for more force sensitive people to teach and rebuild the Jedi, the other three climbed on the board of a (thanks to Rose) much improved Falcon, set their Route to one of the Republic and Resistance friendly Unknown Regions planets, and took off to their destination.

~ 

Hand in hand, Finn and Poe watched as the Falcon traveled through the Hyperspace; Poe tightened his grip and Finn looked at him before returning the gesture, his hand putting more pressure on Poe's one, and an honest smile made his face glow. 

“we got this,” he told Poe, and for the first time in his life, Poe didn't feel he had to have the last word.

They got this.

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [ my sw sideblog ](https://sybisti.tumblr.com/)
> 
> [ my multifandom sideblog ](https://middleeastern.tumblr.com/)
> 
> send me hate [ here ](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)


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